by Caroline | Apr 9, 2026 | Acceptance
One of the great spiritual principles across many different philosophies is the concept of non-resistance
In our modern world we are often encouraged and expected to ignore this principle to our detriment, finding ourselves exhausted and depleted by constantly “swimming upstream”. This may mean different things to different people. Maybe for you it is playing the director in the show of your life, insisting that people play parts that they aren’t willing to play… if only my neighbour wouldn’t start their noisy car so early in the morning; or… if only my colleague would do what I say or would follow my advice!
I’m sure we all have examples to give.
In Taoism the philosophy of water teaches about Humility, Harmony and Openness. What this means is water (humility) doesn’t make any demands or need any recognition for its contribution to the life it gives to plants/ people/ animals. it doesn’t get angry if it comes upon an obstacle like a rock, it simply goes around it (harmony) at its own pace. Water can change (openness) according to its environment, it can be liquid, it can be ice and it can be light as steam…. It is flexible and adaptable.
So next time you find yourself feeling like you’re in a boat paddling upstream, perhaps you would like to try going with the flow, bending into the curves, holding on a little tighter when you go over the rapids, and enjoying the peaceful calm waters until you reach the sea. Maybe that neighbour or colleague will cease to be so annoying after all!
Hear more about the lessons from the philosophy of water in this TED talk that has been viewed over 4 million times!
by Caroline | Apr 9, 2026 | Acceptance
I was cleaning out a cupboard the other day and came across this document, which at a time in my life, made me stop in my tracks, think and start to take responsibility. Perhaps you will also find it helpful.
Author: Unknown (if somebody knows who wrote this, please let me know so that I can credit them!)
The document – ‘The Awakening’
A time comes in your life when you finally get it… when, in the midst of all your fears you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out… ENOUGH. Fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realise it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realise that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself… and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn’t all about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and take care of yourself… and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties….. and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown or should never have bought into in the first place.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You top trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that your body is a temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So, you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working towards making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s okay to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing to fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn to fight for your life and not squander it under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting good people… and you learn not to always take it personally.
You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful and take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to trust, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
by Caroline | Apr 9, 2026 | Acceptance
We live in difficult times with so many polarising opinions, so how do I find a position that feels right for me?
I’m not sure about you, but I sometimes feel like I am being bombarded with so many views about very difficult issues and can feel pressured to take a position about some of these things. The Dhammapada provides us with some guidance on how to approach these situations. I hope you find this helpful.
Making an arbitrary decision
Does not amount to justice,
Having considered arguments
For and against,
The wise decide the case
Dhammapada v.256
Following commentary by Ajahn Munindo in Dhammapada Reflections page 71
You are under pressure to make a decision. Is it possible to remain cool and calm when others want you to decide in their favour? Can you remain free from bias and arrive at a just decision? How do we hold our views? Having a strong opinion can feel great; it can appear as confidence. But such is the nature of fundamentalism; so too is providing simplistic answers to complex questions. Rigid views and simplistic solutions are not aspects of a spacious mind; a mind can consider all aspects of the dilemma. It usually takes time to arrive at a balanced, thoroughly considered view. It also requires an ability to listen from a place of inner quiet. If we are mentally preparing our rebuttal, we are not really listening.
